There once was a boy named Harry, born with a lightning scar...

So the ARU Harry Potter Society was awarded Society of the Year 2012-13 last night at the Clubs and Socs Ball and I cannot possibly express how proud I am of everyone who has been involved and supported us through this year. It's been an incredible opportunity and I'm genuinely honoured to have been able to share it with such an awesome group of Potterheads.

It really has been a crazy year and we've had our share of ups and downs, both difficult and truly magical moments. We have an amazing base of members and have had so much fun working with other Societies and the fantastic and ever-supportive SU. It's been a magical journey and I will be sad to say goodbye as the current Committee move on to future Wizarding adventures, but it's been an incredible experience and I've loved every moment of it.

So an immense and heartfelt 'thank you' to everyone who's given the Order of the Ruskin their time from that moment in that kitchen when we wondered if it would be possible, to the near-200 people signed up, to everyone who's attended our events and Pub Socials, and to you if you have stuck with the ARU Harry Potter Society until what is surely not the end, but can only be a bright and magical beginning.

And in the immortal words of Peeves: "We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter’s the one, and Voldy’s gone moldy, so now let’s have fun!"

It's sacrilege, sacrilege, sacrilege you say.

Well it's all really building up into madness now. I feel like we're on the last corner before the home stretch to Dissertation Deadline. However, this is really just the beginning. Deadlines in abundance from the beginning of May stretching on a month beyond, and then moving house and transferring my job; the real world is steadily approaching and it's taking no prisoners.

I'm keeping reasonably afloat at the moment. I keep reminding myself that things could be a lot worse, and I could have nothing to show for my two and half years at University, but as that's really not the case I am instead incredibly thankful and excited as to what the future is bringing.

I have fallen entirely in love with NFTS. It's a perfect place and exactly where I need to be, and so continues the heavy slog to fight my way into it's lovely walls filled with layer upon layer of talent, knowledge, experience and opportunity. I just need to find the right bloody story.

My current living arrangements are hovering in comparison to perhaps the third circle of Dante's Inferno at the moment. Alright, perhaps that's a bit extreme, but it's really bloody awful right now. Most of my kitchen items that I moved in with have been stolen, along with countless items of food. Some nights this is particularly depressing when looking at half a cupboard of food knowing that someone in the house is going to bed particularly well fed that night. And it's a Brucey Bonus when you're then woken up repeatedly at 4.00am by various tenants who cannot possibly inhabit any other rooms within the property besides the ones precisely adjacent to your own. This is very wearing. My letting agency's suggestion to all of this? I'll paraphrase: "We aren't willing to do anything, so you might as well go to police about your missing cutlery." Excellent. I'll just use my extensive funds to replace everything that's been taken since September and put locks on the cupboards that you own. Oh, and I'll soundproof my room while I'm at it, shall I?

Other than this, things seem to be continuing at a steady pace. Some days it's a struggle to remember that there really is a good reason for getting out the other side of my degree. And others... Well, those are the days to be treasured.

There is apparent scientific evidence that creative types are most productive at the early hours of the morning. I'm not sure whether this is true for myself or if this is just self imposed insomnia to try and catch sleep during the day around intensely noisy housemates but I have a sudden urge to tidy my room, although this is most likely another route of procrastination from the more pressing tasks. There are frequent occasions when I wonder how Boyfriend qualifies being with me against a normal life. But normal gets boring.

He's going away for two weeks soon, and I have a strong feeling this is going to be mightily more tricky than the last time he went away. But seven months down the line this can hardly be surprising. And in all honesty it couldn't come at a more appropriate time, with deadlines looming on the horizon. So, he will either return to a gloopy mess living in squalor and crying over a laptop that doesn't work, or to someone else.

Well, I shall continue to slog away through this creative process of all fragmented elements. I have no doubts that blog posts will become more frequent and melancholic as I shuffle towards the end of this chapter.

I'm sorry if this seems preachy but I had to say something.

Are people aware of this petition? http://c4m.org.uk/

Personally, I find it quite ridiculous, with small-minded, bigoted arguments. One of their hilariously bizarre reasonings is that legalising same-sex marriage is only one step away from legalising polygamy. They refer to non-same-sex couple as 'the rest of us', just furthering this horrendous divide based purely on a difference between sexuality.

They also argue that 'Marriage reflects the complementary natures of men and women', but why on earth should relationships be defined only by gender? Surely divorce statistics already prove this wrong. A relationship is a joining of two people whose personalities complement each other, along with their preferences, opinions, and so much more, not because they're a man and a woman.

'The evidence shows that children do best with a married mother and a father.' - What evidence is this? This argument not only debases families with same-sex parents as is their aim, but single parent families, divorced families, widowed families - are they really attempting to say that in contemporary society, children will only do well if their mother and father are married? Because to me that seems very outdated and pretty backwards by all accounts.

'It's not discriminatory to support traditional marriage.' - Yes, actually. It pretty much is. I don't understand how, in this day and age, a movement towards equal rights is still being protested against.

I apologise if you find my comments offensive, and as they point out 'People should not feel pressurised to go along with same-sex marriage just because of political correctness. They should be free to express their views.' But surely the arguments for same-sex marriage are rooted in much more that 'political correctness'.

I aware this is a very long post and quite ranty, but I hope you appreciate that something has to be said against these old-fashioned and frankly offensive arguments.

Building up my problems to the size of a cow.

Well I am out of the miserable slump, which is nice not only for myself but for pretty much everyone around me who's had to put up with it in recent weeks.

And feeling refreshed and energised and positive and motivated I have near on scheduled every hour of every day, so I am constantly doing something useful. That's the plan anyway. I even scheduled a lay-in this morning, which was a very nice thing to do for myself. Although it appears that I am so bloody organised at the moment, I'm forgetting to do things like eat and use my inhaler. So perhaps I need to take a step back from the super-scheduled lifestyle.

The last-first week back has finished, and I am 7 days closer to the end. I haven't decided whether I'm terrified or very excited about this, but I think I keep swinging between the two. What I do know so far is that the two modules I've had seminars in so far have been so very useful. One infinitely more so than the other, but I think I am feeling prepared and ready for this semester.

I want to do more and be more active within my field of study, and I think all this business of doing things is spurring me on to do the right things that I should be doing. Having lots of time off is great every now and then, but for me personally, knowing I have hours and hours of not much means that it is a lot easier to put off the things that really need doing, because "I'll have time later". If I have three hours on a Wednesday to do some Dissertation research, then I find myself doing three hours of dissertation research because that's all I have. So this insanely busy attitude seems to have snowballed into PRODUCTIVE ATTITUDE. Which is a nice discovery.

After my Great Weepy Week as it shall henceforth be known, on Mother's advice I have put together a 'make me happy' playlist which I now listen to whenever I'm feeling a bit crap and it makes me feel good again. It's little things like this that can be surprisingly useful in keeping up the positivity.

Although I keep hitting relatively small snags and bumps so far in my future-plan, I seem to be very positive about it. I'm excited at the prospect of finishing my degree and moving on to bigger and better things, but I'm also aware that the time I have left is limited and I want to try and cherish what I do have. I'm still a student, and this is the time when it's acceptable to go out dancing in a bright-red wig and order enough takeaway for two people to hit the delivery charge, just because it's easier than having to get dressed and go out and collect it. I want to look back on these few years and think 'Uni, what a fucking awesome time'. Crikey, if I'm paying this much for it then I might as well get some good memories on top of a degree and all.

I've been sorting out train fares for the Open Days at the School I plan to study at. Which is very exciting. I know it doesn't mean anything, but just the chance to be there fills me with even more excitement than the prospect of an Open Day at my current University did over three years ago. I'm going to be walking the halls.

My biggest dilemma currently is how I'm going to fund my MA. If someone would like to give me £20 000 in the next couple of months then I promise I'll pay you back when I'm making cinematic feature films. If I take out a loan then I have to pay it back on top of rent, bills, travel and food. If I take out an overdraft then I have to pay for it on top of rent, bills, travel and food. If I get a scholarship I'll be really fucking lucky. A fresh undergrad? Yeah not likely. But nevertheless, I shall continue on!

And continue on I shall to bed. Goodnight.

Dancing on the ceiling.

Of which I am not.

Oh gosh, I have been rather miserable over the past couple of days. I'm trying to stay positive and carry on with everything. But right now, I'm piecing together my finances for post-graduation and I'm going to need to work near on 40 hours a week in order to be able to afford to live. So I can work and live and get by and that's fine. The problem is that I intend to be there to study for my Masters.

It looks like I'll be back to the dreaded house share after all.

Every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven.

Well of course that's not true, but I've spent most of the day listening to film soundtracks, including The Artist.

We've finally been hit by the snow here, and it is so beautiful. I went out with my lovely camera and took plenty of pictures of it. My Canon makes everything look even better. I took an awful lot, mainly because I couldn't resist, but here's a select few of my favourites.

 I love these two, possibly my absolute favourites. The lampost is perfectly placed, I was quite lucky.

It was a beautiful few days, and now it's beginning to dissipate a bit. Which isn't so bad. I love the snow, I think there's something truly magical about it. But I don't like it when it disrupts me too much. A few days is lovely, but then life needs to go back to normal, at least that's how it is here. I can't imagine what it must be like to have snow the majority of the year, I'm not sure it would feel so magical.

In other news, I've been getting myself super organised! I have so many wall charts to keep track of and updated, but at least it's an easy way to see what I'm supposed to be doing, where I'm supposed to be doing it, when I'm supposed to be there, and how much it's going to cost me. I'm cracking down hard on my finances. If I do this properly then I will definitely have enough to move into a new flat in HW in August.

I think that whatever happens I'm probably just going to move there anyway, whether I get on to my MA course straightaway or not. I can't stay in Cambridge, and if I move home then I'll lose my job which will mean losing my transfer which will mean a much harder struggle to find a job to support myself whilst I'm living elsewhere. And moving back home feels like a big step backwards. I know it's not, but being where I want to be means opportunities and possibilities and prospects and being a real adult. I'm now beginning to feel like being a student is really just practise for the real world. We had these grand notions of moving out and being all grown up on acceptance to university, but really we're surrounded by so many safety nets and back ups. It's like we're having a go at real life, but once we graduate there won't be an Accommodation Office to seek help from, or Student Loans to rely on, or Student Services to tell us what to do when we're stuck.

And honestly, I find it all very exciting.

I'm trying to be a lot more disciplined with my film work. Because I'm really really not. At all. So I need to buck up and get my act together and be the student that NFTS will want, because I will not be going anywhere else.

I need to finish off this last bit of work experience work, and then I can get my timetable sorted out and really start to structure my days with uni work, dissertation work, film work, society work, masters application, and having a life (Although not necessarily in that order). I'm determined not to become a complete hermit whose only friends are my laptop, desk, library and iCentre. I'm still at uni, I'm still going to be student with all the social aspects as well as getting a kick ass grade! I'm sure of it! (Ask me again in a couple of months and we'll see...)

If you've read my recent posts I'm sure you would see my sheer panic in anticipation of this year. Well, it's now settled down into organised Hatti and I'm feeling inspired and ready to go. I'm still making big changes and little changes which is probably helping tremendously. I've had my hair cut for the first time in a couple of years and I've rearranged my room, amongst other things. Whilst it may seem like procrastination, I'm feeling much more focussed and on target, which is lovely. And I'm looking forward to no snow, because I can start running again which will help.

I think I should be very grateful to my boyfriend who has given me a gentle shove in the right direction, which is probably what's inspired all this focus and motivation. He's really quite marvellous. He took me to see The 39 Steps last night, and it was fantastic, an excellent piece of theatre.


So now I'm off to go and do productive things. Or nap. One of the two I think.

We are the kings and queens of promise.

I wonder if Monday nights are going to become a regular blogging witching hour for me. I'm usually up anyway to listen to boyfriend's radio show. I suppose it's just a good, quiet time to collect thoughts and mull over the past week and the week ahead.

I had a strange dream last night, albeit interrupted at 4am. I can't swim and have a pretty full on fear of water, but I dreamt I was swimming in a crystal clear, blue ocean, and a luxurious pool that looked right over it. I'm not one for decrypting dreams and understanding the deeper meaning behind them. Maybe it means this year I'll learn to swim. Or perhaps will embrace scary things - that part's for sure at least. I'm not sure. I just wanted to put it out there I suppose. I'm panicking about all sorts of things, from work experience to dissertation, from eyebrows to boyfriend. I think anything will do at the moment. As long as I can have a good long panic-session about it.

It's difficult not really having too many people to talk over this nonsensical rambling with at the moment. Which is why, dear blog reader, if you really are out there, you are currently bearing the brunt of this. And I apologise.

I'm most likely going to have to go back over most of this

and re-edit so I don't sound like so much of a lunatic.

On the up-side, my panic is motivating me to do more things! I'm making good progress on my work experience tasks, which have had a major set back with illness and deadlines, but hopefully I'll have it all finished up by tomorrow so they won't think I've abandoned the cause entirely.

For some reason I've also kicked off my Nail Art Blog again. Apparently I do not have enough to do at this moment in time. Here are a couple of my new creations, inspired by and taken from Sharmadean Reid's WAH Nails Book of Nail Art, which is truly fantastic. I give you POW nails, and rainbow leopard print.

I have also dug out some of my old script ideas. Its exciting because they're half-developed and still a bit interesting, so maybe, finally, I might actually do something worthwhile. Lord knows, whatever people understood of my nudey film might at first glance, its not the direction I'm planning on taking my career in. And neither is Harry Potter-themed stop-motion lego animation.

Also, (and this is where it gets really exciting) I've sent booking requests for two open days at the School of my intended Masters degree! Terrifying and so exciting I could squeal all rolled into one. Of course this doesn't mean I'm literally a step closer to getting in, but it could most definitely aid the journey.

I should really sign off now, it is getting rather late and I should do more things tomorrow.

Good night.

In a closed-off corner of my heart.

I think, recently, I have been on a bit of a journey of self-discovery. Once again.

I feel I do this every now and then, maybe a few months will go by, maybe a few years, before I begin to struggle with exactly who I am and where I am going. My destination generally stays the same, but my direction and route can often change and that is always influenced by the version of myself that I am at the time.

I am a great believer in people continually changing and growing and developing, and I think it's very naive to believe we all stay the same. I am certainly not the person I was 5 years ago, or even 1 year ago, and I'm sure you, reader, could say the same about yourself in some way. I'm not saying these changes have to be enormous or drastic, or again small and subtle. But they are always there.

Whether it be dying your hair a new colour or going back to old roots, giving your wardrobe a new look, or upping and moving to a different county altogether. At some point in our lives, we all experience the need for 'a bit of a change', a shake-up, an attempt at a different way of living. I don't know whether I feel this more or less frequently than the next person, but every now and then this desire seems to overtake most else of what I am feeling and I fall into a rut until I can do something big enough to heave myself out of it.

I'm not sure what it will be this time. I suppose I have been feeling creatively-stunted of late, and need to work over the right project of some kind to push through this.

I apologise, if you are reading this and know me, if I have been distant or vague of late. I suppose I am anticipating great changes to come this year, and am struggling to define myself before reaching the great precipice of UNKNOWN. I would rather be sure of who I am and what I want before stepping off into a realm of reality where these things can not be mulled over at length. I need to be sure. And sometimes this means taking a few steps away before returning to the here and now.

I am not in any way saying I am unhappy with my current lot. On the contrary, I'm possibly the happiest I've been for a very long time. I wonder if in some way this has contributed to a sudden identity-crisis of sorts. Perhaps finding myself at such a beautiful point in my life, pre-madness to come in the summer, has inspired an urge to establish if this is really... Me. And I suppose this is in fact very much 'me'. And for that I am grateful. Probably more so than I have ever been in my life.

I just need to establish my direction and thought-process to accompany such a journey. Because I clearly don't have enough to do at this moment in time.

But I hope this brings about a detox of sorts. Trim the edges, refine what should be present and what I would like to be present, and should the rest really matter? Surely not.

Well, whatever this journey brings, one thing is sure - I'm bound to write a great, waffling blog post to go with it.

Kidnap the Sandy Claws

And so with 24 hours before I have to be at work, I am finishing off my final essay of Year 3 Semester 1. It's a good'un to be fair, I've really enjoyed my research and even reading the laborious and nonsensical articles that accompany it, so A Discussion of the Intermedial Relations Between Film and Videogames has certainly been a fun one to get stuck into.

Unfortunately, having been struck down with the dreaded norovirus meant I was quite horrendously ill and had to get an extension on this one, but I managed to get my Independent Film Practice work in on time, and I felt pretty good about it. So naturally I'll get a pretty rubbish mark for it.

What a year this has been. I have felt rather disinclined to write a lengthy 'this is everything my year has covered here's hoping the next one's just as good' facebook, twitter or blog post, but I feel I should probably comment a little. It's been quite a rollercoaster that has included all sorts. A lot of good fortune, friends, family, truths, wealth, work, happiness and love, and some difficult shit thrown in there too, as any year must be. I suppose I'm rather underwhelmed by the dawning of 2013, mainly because my big changes will come half way through the year. So this New Year is the quiet and gentle beginning before a build up to the incredible unknown. I just feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to experience the things I have and to be looking forward to a potentially exciting and hugely terrifying 12 months.

So as I sit here in my basement, watching the clouds roll by, wearing my blue bowler hat and mulling over the player's role in the experience of both videogames and cinema, I wish you all a beautiful New Year, filled with much luck, love and happiness.

And she needs you, this is for Matilda.

So the customary pre-Christmas ill-zone has already set in. I'm putting this down to doing too much and not getting enough sleep. I think I quite easily forget that rest can be fairly important, which can be a bit of a pickle when you then find yourself ill. But there we go!

I have a Christmas playlist on Spotify, and have been listening to it solidly on repeat for the past week. This has made me very happy. I seem to have been overcome with Christmas cheer this year, and I'm not sure why. I'm just very excited about it.

Currently slogging my way through the last of my assignment work for uni this year - most fun in the wake of the work staff party last night. It was a brilliant evening, and I was honoured to be voted the winner of 'Best Customer Service' and 'Employee of the Year'.

But I suppose my procrastination is running amok and I'd better get back to writing about whether video games have beginnings and endings.

You are now watching Voldemort. Don't let me get to Hogwarts...

Now is the time to panic, and I feel justifiably so.

Eventually my dissertation hysteria will sort itself out. I'm sure of it. I think.

But let's not talk about that right now. I'll just panic more.


To be honest, there's not all that much to talk about at the moment. I'm calling this a welcome distraction from all the things I should be doing.

But there's a lot of exciting things happening soon. So I'll just get on with those...

Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul.

Naturally, I should be researching and writing and planning and note-taking and doing all manner of useful things.

However, I have Fresher's Flu and therefore have a very substantial reason to feel rather pathetic and not get out of bed. It seems to be rather brutal this year, and coupled with a twice-dislocated knee that means using crutches to get around everywhere at the moment, this has not been the best of starts to my final year at university.

Which is daunting enough in itself.

It all feels rather strange at the moment, because I'm only in for two days a week so I don't yet feel like I've properly returned to University just yet. I have almost finalised my title for my dissertation, and already have a plan in mind for my Independent Film Practise module, so things are looking to be less stressful than I was initially anticipating. Ask me in a few weeks and I'm almost certain that will not be the same outlook.

I have had a short burst of very good fortune recently, and as such I am waiting for my new camera to arrive. It is a very fancy, very exciting and very brand new camera, so I am quite filmmaker-nerdy over it at the moment. It should be here within the next few hours. Most exciting.

I'm not entirely sure what else I have to write about at the moment. That's new anyway.

I am still seeing a very wonderful someone, which is still making me terribly girly at times. And incredibly happy. And I am planning on it continuing to do so.

As President of the Harry Potter Society: Order of the Ruskin, I wish you a good day, and remember:

                   It does not do to dwell on dreams
                                                                And forget to live...

. . .

Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head.

Obligatory update for a moment in time when I should really be doing something much more useful.

Right now, I should probably be asleep. But sometimes it's just much more relaxing to put some words down that an occasional internet-dweller may stumble across.

I'm thoroughly enjoying my new job. I've been there over a month, and it has yet to break me down as everyone keeps promising! I like to think I have a positive attitude, but we'll see how it is in the next few months...

I posted last time about a fairly amicable break up. This has, fairly inevitably, turned sour, and has only been aggravated by the living situation. It can be difficult to handle at times, but it's fairly easy to look at the situation as an adult and deal with it in the right way. I refuse to be brought down to a certain level, and will rise above any and all of the ridiculous, false and derogatory claims made about me.

This has easily been impacted by my current outlook on life. In a relaxed and philosophical manner (and completely unpretentiously...) I am going through a steady process of removing any negative forces in my life. It's been steady going over the past year or so, but I'm still working at it, and hope to carry this attitude with me throughout my life. I think this whole feeling came from a realisation that I certainly don't need to waste my time and energy on people, events and areas of my life that no longer hold any positivity. And as such, I've made some difficult decisions in moving away from things and people that were once very important in my life, weighing up the pros and cons. Sadly, it can often mean that difficult and negative times can far outshine the better times, but with an uncertain future to plan for it would be hard to drive forwards when feeling held back by these emotions.

With this in mind, it means that some difficult decisions must be made within my current situation. It initially seems sad, but on a grander scale it can only lead to better times and better opportunities!

This does all seem rather pretentious, doesn't it? Positive/Negative forces is the only fully-rounded way to describe the attitude though. I hope this makes some kind of sense, no matter how garbled!

In other news, I have met a very lovely someone. This is all very exciting and fun and wonderful and is making me terribly giggly and girly, and he is truly amazing. He buys me flowers and quotes Shakespeare, he discusses Film (with a capital 'f') and theatre at length at all hours of the day and night, he's interested in my work and plans as much as I am with his, he sends me beautiful music, and he seems to quite like me too. And he's really rather gorgeous. He's away for a little while at the moment, which is a bit of a test and an eye-opener, seeing as this has only been going on for a few weeks. But things are very good. And I am very happy.

And (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman just came on my playlist. Fitting?

I'm really very excited for one of my closest and dearest friends who has literally just made the Big Move to LDN, for fantastic opportunities and excitement, and I am so very happy for her. I can think of no one more deserving of such a promising break.

I'm also steadily trying to avoid a DISSERTATION meltdown. Things are not currently panning out as expected. But it will get resolved, I have no doubts.

Things are most definitely on the up

x

Read all about it.

This week has been utter madness.

I feel like every time I write on my blog, I'm generally start with how insane everything has been lately. BUT it seems like things are starting to slow down a little bit, and hopefully, just maybe, normality can resume.

I'm working at a large chain cinema and actually, surprisingly, really enjoying it. I'm working with a great bunch of people, I always enjoy working with the public, even cleaning screens and toilets are ok! Despite a bit of shaky start with training and inductions, it all seems to be going really well, and I think this is going to be alright for my final year.

And the bonus of free tickets just seems to make everything that bit more useful.

I have moved into a new house, which is brilliant because my rent is SO much cheaper, which of course means I will finally have some money to do important things. And lots and lots of fun things. I'm still desperate to go to the Studio Tour at Leavesden, and I'm gutted I just haven't been able to afford it. But hopefully now things will calm down and the money will pick up and I'll be able to go! I think the most disappointing thing this summer has been a complete lack of holiday. A few of us were all going to go somewhere sunny and beautiful and relaxing for a few days, but sadly it all fell through. It was fine and completely understandable, but I think I'm still a bit bummed about it. Seeing all my friends posting pictures of their adventures on facebook and the like is bound to cause a bit of holiday-envy! I think with all the stress and everything that has happened over the past year or so meant that I was definitely looking forward to getting away. But there we go. I suppose there's always next year.

I am now a single lady once again. It's sad, but sometimes things just don't work out the way you think they might. Thankfully it wasn't a particularly messy break up, but we both happen to be living in the same building so things are bound to be a little awkward at times. But we're both adults and hopefully we will both be able to move on with our lives as friends.

I am currently putting together a plan for a potential mini-Film Festival, that I've been talking to one of the managers of the cinema I work in about. This is very exciting and will mean a lot for my career and opportunities, so I will update more on this once I have a firmer idea of what will happen.

I'm still writing my Mills & Boon. 

x

And we will never be afraid again.

So everything is entirely nuts at the moment.

I have a new job, I almost have a new place to live, and I'm researching for my dissertation. I'm also finally writing up my shorts that I hope to be able to put together.

Everything is so crazy I feel like I barely have time to breathe. It's all very exciting but very stressful, and I keep crying a lot which is mostly just irritating.

I have finished two freelance pieces, which is very exciting. I hope to be able to do more, mainly for experience.

I so desperately want to get to NFTS as soon as possible. I have no idea where I'll find the money, but I'll find a way. I have to.

I plan to get into the edit suite once I've spent a reasonable amount of time away from it, to be able to edit together a short showreel to be able to post online.

That's about it for now.

But never ever on a Sunday a Sunday a Sunday, 'Cause that's my day of rest...

Welcome to the July 2012 edition of What's Going On In Hatti's Life!


Oh that sounds ungrateful and sarcastic. It's not meant to be! There seems to be a huge amount of very exciting things happening to me and around me at the moment so I definitely feel it's appropriate to write it all down in a sensible list.
At least for my own sanity...

1. I have just been hired by Cineworld!

I'm excited to finally have a job again! It'll be a week or so before I have an induction and actually start working because The Dark Knight Rises release will mean utter madness, so that's pretty kind of them really! It's going to be pretty tough, I'll be going between commuting in and out of Cambridge and staying with people, but I'll work it out.

At the end of the day, it means I'll have a job through third year which is immensely important now that I can't afford my rent from September. And I don't just mean it'll be a little bit tight or I'll have to cut down on going out and buying new things. It's a very daunting prospect that I won't be able to live in my house and eat if I don't work, particularly as there will be so many other things to concentrate on through my final year at University. I'm possibly more scared about it than I'm willing to admit, but I'll find a way. There's not really any other choice!

And ultimately, I'll be working in a cinema! Hello film student!

2. I'm picking up some freelance work!


This is very exciting, because it means lots of experience and good things to put in my Portfolio! I'm currently in Cambridge editing a 50th Wedding Anniversary video, which is pretty much complete now, for a close friend of ours. I was so touched that they asked me to put together the film for them to play out at their Anniversary celebrations, so I hope they like it!

And I'm about to start editing Wedding footage as I had the honour of being the videographer for my cousin's wedding last week. An amazing (and slightly terrifying) experience, but I can't wait to put it all together!

And I was recently asked by a major national crafting company to produce a tutorial video that will be used on their website and official channel. So lots of good things coming my way! And hopefully it will all look good on my portfolio!

3. I had a successful interview for Watersprite Film Festival!


Which means I should be on the Events/Hospitality team from September until the Festival's completion in February! SUPER EXCITING! Particularly given the calibre of the guest speakers who come in to give lectures and workshops through the weekend, AND as their closing speaker was none other than David Yates last year, which I had the pleasure of attending and was blown away by his passion and enthusiasm and dedication. His talk inspired me like nothing else, and has since spurred me on to get going with my film career, so really I suppose you could put all these exciting things down to Mr. Yates.

So hopefully lots of networking opportunities! I'm planning on getting some business cards together around September, so my aim is to get my film blog up to scratch over August and get a proper showreel edited together and uploaded. Then, lots of thrusting them out to anyone and everyone who'd be vaguely willing to take one!

4. My dissertation is progressing!


I've finally narrowed down my topic and decided on my main focuses! It doesn't sound like much, but considering I began with all plays, refined it to simply Shakespeare, and then narrowed do all Shakespeare plays to just three - I'm quite proud!

I'm now looking into what to do for my practical supplement which will sit alongside my written dissertation as an appendix of sorts. The sooner I have this nailed down the sooner I can begin development work on it, write it all up and cast it! My plan is to have this finished by Christmas - which includes filming and post-production/editing.

My general plan with my dissertation is to have my first-draft Introduction finished by the end of September, first-draft Chapter 1 finished by the end of October, Chapter 2 - November and Chapter 3 - December. As long as I have a first draft of everything finished by the end of December/Beginning of Semester 2, I will be very happy indeed. And well on course!

5. I have received approval for two Film Clubs!


I'm trying to gain as much experience as I can in the area of film, and not necessarily all practical filmmaking. So I have taken the initiative, and sent out letters to several schools in my local area in Cambridge, and I'm very excited that two have contacted me and are both eager to get me on board! My aim is to help students explore the world of Film Studies, and promote the industry of Film particularly at this time when so much is being cut within the British industry.

My plan is to go into these schools fortnightly or monthly, and screen a film which will be followed by a discussion after. I will devise three different themes for the school terms, most likely 'Mainstream cinema', 'Independent cinema' and '"World" Cinema', and will have a series of prompt questions to try and raise some debate and analysis.

Schemes like this are important and can develop many skills that are not only relevant to Film, but can be applied to all areas of life. So I'm hoping it will be successful! I'm waiting to hear back with some definite plans and decisions, but it all looks good so far!

6. And perhaps the most important: MASTERS APPLICATION!


I plan to begin the process in September, and have a few ideas in mind for the pieces that will be included on my application. It's terrifying and utterly exciting all at the same time, but this is what I'm aiming for!

Just got to work hard enough to get there!

7. I am writing lots, which means I can kickstart my showreel again!


I have had a major slump in this for quite a while, but I'm excited that I'm now actually pushing forward and getting those words on the page, which will turn into screenplays, cast, location, shooting, editing, and ultimately short films!

Its really important to find the time to do these things, because at the end of the day this is what I'm basing my life around. So I'd better bloody well do something about it!

8. I start Third Year in a month and a half!


Which is so daunting and scary and exciting and worrying and terrifying and fun and nervy all in one!

There's not really too much to say about this, just that I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to fit uni around everything else I have going on. But, I will hopefully be graduating with a 2:1 next year. I would love love love to graduate with a first. So much. But I'm not sure that's a likelihood anymore. Ah well! I'll be super chuffed with a 2:1!

***

Well, I think that's everything. I'm sure I have a life in there somewhere.

Perhaps.

I walk down the lane, with a happy refrain.

I was going to begin this post with moaning, but I couldn't be bothered to fine-tune my whining into a comprehensible waffling. So I've bullet-pointed:

- It's very late/early in the morning for being awake and sober.
- I have a bizarre headache that disappears when I tilt my head to the side.
- I will undoubtedly be waking up to neck-ache.
- No matter how many times I read paragraphs at the moment, I cannot seem to retain any useful information for my essay and subsequently my presentation due in 9 days.
- I miss the rain.

So there we go.

My fan fiction is going ridiculously well.

I finally bought an external hard-drive so I am filming again.

I'm writing.

I'm prioritising.

I am planning a future and working for it.

And what I'd really like around about now is a big old thunder storm.

Here comes the sun.

Or at least it did for a while.
And now it's gone again.
But that's ok.

So I'm in charge of the household tonight. Quite enjoying this, though! I forget how much I enjoy being by myself sometimes. I think that's why I can get so claustrophobic and a little suffocated at times, I often end up feeling trapped. Solitude can be a blessing at times. I also think this may have something to do with living in a city now. I miss the countryside.

On the upside, I'm rewriting my future plans. I realised earlier that I have only discussed this, such a life-altering issue, with a select few people. Three to be a precise. I'm not sure why. I think it's more about doing this for me, now. No big song and dance (I'm listening to a musical playlist at the moment).

I'm working so hard on so many projects. I've been so anxious for quite some time, I really felt like everything I'd been working on was just slipping away. I hadn't been able to get back into things for quite some time, and now I'm back, on top and ready to go. So much going on, and I'm ready to keep going with it all. I need to get back into the practise of it all swiftly, as I'm videographing my cousin's wedding soon. I've been bulking up my showreel as well, so this is really beginning to move forwards. I'm just trying to prioritise my university work as well, so I have a decent degree to graduate with.

I'm just so passionate about my career. And I have this incessant fear of failure with it all. Not in the sense that I'm scared of rejection. That doesn't bother me, its healthy and will just spur me on. It just terrifies me that I'm putting my all into this and if it doesn't work out, I'm left with nothing. There is literally no alternative, I'm not working with a plan B, I don't have a fall-back. This is it. This is my life, and my future, and sometimes the doubt creeps in.
I just need to learn to get a better handle on it.
I have talent and determination.
There would be not point in doing this if I didn't.

I should get on with the university work plan.

We came here to rock the microphone.

I've FINALLY got an external hard drive!!!

Hello to space, Skype and video editing again!

Let's talk about you.

Somewhat relaxed on the update front. I'll leave it up to you, dear reader, as to whether its because I've been far too busy to post, or because there simply aren't enough interesting happenings to post about at present.

I'm currently writing as I travel back home on the train again. I seem to spend half my time on trains lately, but I find this is no bad thing. Trains provide that liminal space, the anonymity of communal journeying, that gives enough mental space to expand on any passing pondering. 'Passing pondering'. I quite like that. If/when I create yet another blog, which is largely inevitable, I will endeavour to name it such. I almost wish my journey were longer, I seem to write much more freely and fluently when travelling.

In other writing news - I'm still piecing together the general base outline for my dissertation. And still attempting to devise a witty title. I have also, finally, descended into the realm of fanfiction. After spending a good year reading masses of the stuff, apparently I feel accomplished enough to attempt my own. I shall not be posting the stories themselves here, nor shall I let slip my username for you to find them. To be perfectly honest though, should you know me well enough it should be fairly easy to guess what it might be, and anyone who has happened to come within the slightest vicinity of my being can surely assume which fandom I am delving into. I have just had an outline beta-ed rather enthusiastically by a dear friend, so we'll see how it goes. Evidently I am no serious writer but judging by some shockers I've come across, this is no requirement.

I have also hit a rather large writer's block when it comes to my films. I have generally hit a large and entirely impenetrable wall with all my creative endeavours it seems. This is pretty much a big fat lie, I'm just not doing anything. At all. And it is immensely infuriating.

I am also holding onto hope that I can live in the same room next year. I will cry, very much so, should my landlord choose to refuse me. Although this wouldn't be such a surprise - he has already explicitly stated to my housemate that he doesn't like me and that I am rude. I won't go into detail, mainly because I am entirely fed up of the whole situation, but he isn't exactly the happiest of chappies that I've ever come across. But there we go.

The weather has been beautiful lately. Which most likely explains the upping of mood here. I have been spending time out in our garden (if it can be called such), yet still managing to avoid getting a decent amount of work done. But anyway, I have made a step towards bare-leg dressing for the summer - I am currently wearing a vest, top, shorts, fishnets and my Starkid shoes. The fishnets probably explain the frequent second glances that have been sent my way today. Always been one for turning heads, for whatever reason.

Last week, I spent the morning in Prison. In a sense. I visited with the Gospel Choir I am now an alumni of, to sing and lead worship for their Sunday morning services. It was a great experience, particularly as I have always been interested in Prison work. I would love to be involved in some way, although many people I know aren't so keen on my doing so. Nevertheless, we have been invited back to the Chapel again, and I fully intend on rejoining them again.

Finally, its my mum's birthday! And I wish her a super wonderful day. This explains my current travelling status, I am particularly looking forward to spending a few days with her, and seeing her reaction to her present!

And as my journey continues, I shall end this liminal post.