Read all about it.

This week has been utter madness.

I feel like every time I write on my blog, I'm generally start with how insane everything has been lately. BUT it seems like things are starting to slow down a little bit, and hopefully, just maybe, normality can resume.

I'm working at a large chain cinema and actually, surprisingly, really enjoying it. I'm working with a great bunch of people, I always enjoy working with the public, even cleaning screens and toilets are ok! Despite a bit of shaky start with training and inductions, it all seems to be going really well, and I think this is going to be alright for my final year.

And the bonus of free tickets just seems to make everything that bit more useful.

I have moved into a new house, which is brilliant because my rent is SO much cheaper, which of course means I will finally have some money to do important things. And lots and lots of fun things. I'm still desperate to go to the Studio Tour at Leavesden, and I'm gutted I just haven't been able to afford it. But hopefully now things will calm down and the money will pick up and I'll be able to go! I think the most disappointing thing this summer has been a complete lack of holiday. A few of us were all going to go somewhere sunny and beautiful and relaxing for a few days, but sadly it all fell through. It was fine and completely understandable, but I think I'm still a bit bummed about it. Seeing all my friends posting pictures of their adventures on facebook and the like is bound to cause a bit of holiday-envy! I think with all the stress and everything that has happened over the past year or so meant that I was definitely looking forward to getting away. But there we go. I suppose there's always next year.

I am now a single lady once again. It's sad, but sometimes things just don't work out the way you think they might. Thankfully it wasn't a particularly messy break up, but we both happen to be living in the same building so things are bound to be a little awkward at times. But we're both adults and hopefully we will both be able to move on with our lives as friends.

I am currently putting together a plan for a potential mini-Film Festival, that I've been talking to one of the managers of the cinema I work in about. This is very exciting and will mean a lot for my career and opportunities, so I will update more on this once I have a firmer idea of what will happen.

I'm still writing my Mills & Boon. 

x

And we will never be afraid again.

So everything is entirely nuts at the moment.

I have a new job, I almost have a new place to live, and I'm researching for my dissertation. I'm also finally writing up my shorts that I hope to be able to put together.

Everything is so crazy I feel like I barely have time to breathe. It's all very exciting but very stressful, and I keep crying a lot which is mostly just irritating.

I have finished two freelance pieces, which is very exciting. I hope to be able to do more, mainly for experience.

I so desperately want to get to NFTS as soon as possible. I have no idea where I'll find the money, but I'll find a way. I have to.

I plan to get into the edit suite once I've spent a reasonable amount of time away from it, to be able to edit together a short showreel to be able to post online.

That's about it for now.

But never ever on a Sunday a Sunday a Sunday, 'Cause that's my day of rest...

Welcome to the July 2012 edition of What's Going On In Hatti's Life!


Oh that sounds ungrateful and sarcastic. It's not meant to be! There seems to be a huge amount of very exciting things happening to me and around me at the moment so I definitely feel it's appropriate to write it all down in a sensible list.
At least for my own sanity...

1. I have just been hired by Cineworld!

I'm excited to finally have a job again! It'll be a week or so before I have an induction and actually start working because The Dark Knight Rises release will mean utter madness, so that's pretty kind of them really! It's going to be pretty tough, I'll be going between commuting in and out of Cambridge and staying with people, but I'll work it out.

At the end of the day, it means I'll have a job through third year which is immensely important now that I can't afford my rent from September. And I don't just mean it'll be a little bit tight or I'll have to cut down on going out and buying new things. It's a very daunting prospect that I won't be able to live in my house and eat if I don't work, particularly as there will be so many other things to concentrate on through my final year at University. I'm possibly more scared about it than I'm willing to admit, but I'll find a way. There's not really any other choice!

And ultimately, I'll be working in a cinema! Hello film student!

2. I'm picking up some freelance work!


This is very exciting, because it means lots of experience and good things to put in my Portfolio! I'm currently in Cambridge editing a 50th Wedding Anniversary video, which is pretty much complete now, for a close friend of ours. I was so touched that they asked me to put together the film for them to play out at their Anniversary celebrations, so I hope they like it!

And I'm about to start editing Wedding footage as I had the honour of being the videographer for my cousin's wedding last week. An amazing (and slightly terrifying) experience, but I can't wait to put it all together!

And I was recently asked by a major national crafting company to produce a tutorial video that will be used on their website and official channel. So lots of good things coming my way! And hopefully it will all look good on my portfolio!

3. I had a successful interview for Watersprite Film Festival!


Which means I should be on the Events/Hospitality team from September until the Festival's completion in February! SUPER EXCITING! Particularly given the calibre of the guest speakers who come in to give lectures and workshops through the weekend, AND as their closing speaker was none other than David Yates last year, which I had the pleasure of attending and was blown away by his passion and enthusiasm and dedication. His talk inspired me like nothing else, and has since spurred me on to get going with my film career, so really I suppose you could put all these exciting things down to Mr. Yates.

So hopefully lots of networking opportunities! I'm planning on getting some business cards together around September, so my aim is to get my film blog up to scratch over August and get a proper showreel edited together and uploaded. Then, lots of thrusting them out to anyone and everyone who'd be vaguely willing to take one!

4. My dissertation is progressing!


I've finally narrowed down my topic and decided on my main focuses! It doesn't sound like much, but considering I began with all plays, refined it to simply Shakespeare, and then narrowed do all Shakespeare plays to just three - I'm quite proud!

I'm now looking into what to do for my practical supplement which will sit alongside my written dissertation as an appendix of sorts. The sooner I have this nailed down the sooner I can begin development work on it, write it all up and cast it! My plan is to have this finished by Christmas - which includes filming and post-production/editing.

My general plan with my dissertation is to have my first-draft Introduction finished by the end of September, first-draft Chapter 1 finished by the end of October, Chapter 2 - November and Chapter 3 - December. As long as I have a first draft of everything finished by the end of December/Beginning of Semester 2, I will be very happy indeed. And well on course!

5. I have received approval for two Film Clubs!


I'm trying to gain as much experience as I can in the area of film, and not necessarily all practical filmmaking. So I have taken the initiative, and sent out letters to several schools in my local area in Cambridge, and I'm very excited that two have contacted me and are both eager to get me on board! My aim is to help students explore the world of Film Studies, and promote the industry of Film particularly at this time when so much is being cut within the British industry.

My plan is to go into these schools fortnightly or monthly, and screen a film which will be followed by a discussion after. I will devise three different themes for the school terms, most likely 'Mainstream cinema', 'Independent cinema' and '"World" Cinema', and will have a series of prompt questions to try and raise some debate and analysis.

Schemes like this are important and can develop many skills that are not only relevant to Film, but can be applied to all areas of life. So I'm hoping it will be successful! I'm waiting to hear back with some definite plans and decisions, but it all looks good so far!

6. And perhaps the most important: MASTERS APPLICATION!


I plan to begin the process in September, and have a few ideas in mind for the pieces that will be included on my application. It's terrifying and utterly exciting all at the same time, but this is what I'm aiming for!

Just got to work hard enough to get there!

7. I am writing lots, which means I can kickstart my showreel again!


I have had a major slump in this for quite a while, but I'm excited that I'm now actually pushing forward and getting those words on the page, which will turn into screenplays, cast, location, shooting, editing, and ultimately short films!

Its really important to find the time to do these things, because at the end of the day this is what I'm basing my life around. So I'd better bloody well do something about it!

8. I start Third Year in a month and a half!


Which is so daunting and scary and exciting and worrying and terrifying and fun and nervy all in one!

There's not really too much to say about this, just that I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to fit uni around everything else I have going on. But, I will hopefully be graduating with a 2:1 next year. I would love love love to graduate with a first. So much. But I'm not sure that's a likelihood anymore. Ah well! I'll be super chuffed with a 2:1!

***

Well, I think that's everything. I'm sure I have a life in there somewhere.

Perhaps.

I walk down the lane, with a happy refrain.

I was going to begin this post with moaning, but I couldn't be bothered to fine-tune my whining into a comprehensible waffling. So I've bullet-pointed:

- It's very late/early in the morning for being awake and sober.
- I have a bizarre headache that disappears when I tilt my head to the side.
- I will undoubtedly be waking up to neck-ache.
- No matter how many times I read paragraphs at the moment, I cannot seem to retain any useful information for my essay and subsequently my presentation due in 9 days.
- I miss the rain.

So there we go.

My fan fiction is going ridiculously well.

I finally bought an external hard-drive so I am filming again.

I'm writing.

I'm prioritising.

I am planning a future and working for it.

And what I'd really like around about now is a big old thunder storm.

Here comes the sun.

Or at least it did for a while.
And now it's gone again.
But that's ok.

So I'm in charge of the household tonight. Quite enjoying this, though! I forget how much I enjoy being by myself sometimes. I think that's why I can get so claustrophobic and a little suffocated at times, I often end up feeling trapped. Solitude can be a blessing at times. I also think this may have something to do with living in a city now. I miss the countryside.

On the upside, I'm rewriting my future plans. I realised earlier that I have only discussed this, such a life-altering issue, with a select few people. Three to be a precise. I'm not sure why. I think it's more about doing this for me, now. No big song and dance (I'm listening to a musical playlist at the moment).

I'm working so hard on so many projects. I've been so anxious for quite some time, I really felt like everything I'd been working on was just slipping away. I hadn't been able to get back into things for quite some time, and now I'm back, on top and ready to go. So much going on, and I'm ready to keep going with it all. I need to get back into the practise of it all swiftly, as I'm videographing my cousin's wedding soon. I've been bulking up my showreel as well, so this is really beginning to move forwards. I'm just trying to prioritise my university work as well, so I have a decent degree to graduate with.

I'm just so passionate about my career. And I have this incessant fear of failure with it all. Not in the sense that I'm scared of rejection. That doesn't bother me, its healthy and will just spur me on. It just terrifies me that I'm putting my all into this and if it doesn't work out, I'm left with nothing. There is literally no alternative, I'm not working with a plan B, I don't have a fall-back. This is it. This is my life, and my future, and sometimes the doubt creeps in.
I just need to learn to get a better handle on it.
I have talent and determination.
There would be not point in doing this if I didn't.

I should get on with the university work plan.

We came here to rock the microphone.

I've FINALLY got an external hard drive!!!

Hello to space, Skype and video editing again!

Let's talk about you.

Somewhat relaxed on the update front. I'll leave it up to you, dear reader, as to whether its because I've been far too busy to post, or because there simply aren't enough interesting happenings to post about at present.

I'm currently writing as I travel back home on the train again. I seem to spend half my time on trains lately, but I find this is no bad thing. Trains provide that liminal space, the anonymity of communal journeying, that gives enough mental space to expand on any passing pondering. 'Passing pondering'. I quite like that. If/when I create yet another blog, which is largely inevitable, I will endeavour to name it such. I almost wish my journey were longer, I seem to write much more freely and fluently when travelling.

In other writing news - I'm still piecing together the general base outline for my dissertation. And still attempting to devise a witty title. I have also, finally, descended into the realm of fanfiction. After spending a good year reading masses of the stuff, apparently I feel accomplished enough to attempt my own. I shall not be posting the stories themselves here, nor shall I let slip my username for you to find them. To be perfectly honest though, should you know me well enough it should be fairly easy to guess what it might be, and anyone who has happened to come within the slightest vicinity of my being can surely assume which fandom I am delving into. I have just had an outline beta-ed rather enthusiastically by a dear friend, so we'll see how it goes. Evidently I am no serious writer but judging by some shockers I've come across, this is no requirement.

I have also hit a rather large writer's block when it comes to my films. I have generally hit a large and entirely impenetrable wall with all my creative endeavours it seems. This is pretty much a big fat lie, I'm just not doing anything. At all. And it is immensely infuriating.

I am also holding onto hope that I can live in the same room next year. I will cry, very much so, should my landlord choose to refuse me. Although this wouldn't be such a surprise - he has already explicitly stated to my housemate that he doesn't like me and that I am rude. I won't go into detail, mainly because I am entirely fed up of the whole situation, but he isn't exactly the happiest of chappies that I've ever come across. But there we go.

The weather has been beautiful lately. Which most likely explains the upping of mood here. I have been spending time out in our garden (if it can be called such), yet still managing to avoid getting a decent amount of work done. But anyway, I have made a step towards bare-leg dressing for the summer - I am currently wearing a vest, top, shorts, fishnets and my Starkid shoes. The fishnets probably explain the frequent second glances that have been sent my way today. Always been one for turning heads, for whatever reason.

Last week, I spent the morning in Prison. In a sense. I visited with the Gospel Choir I am now an alumni of, to sing and lead worship for their Sunday morning services. It was a great experience, particularly as I have always been interested in Prison work. I would love to be involved in some way, although many people I know aren't so keen on my doing so. Nevertheless, we have been invited back to the Chapel again, and I fully intend on rejoining them again.

Finally, its my mum's birthday! And I wish her a super wonderful day. This explains my current travelling status, I am particularly looking forward to spending a few days with her, and seeing her reaction to her present!

And as my journey continues, I shall end this liminal post.